This article is a response to the one by my Internet crush Jeffrey Ellinger here
My self summary
I don’t think people can be summarized. But I have heard people describe me as sweet, nice, intimidating, mean, bitchy, funny, smart and “not the worst”.
What I’m doing with my life:
Well, I’m getting my Master’s degree from what is supposedly quite a good school. I don’t think it’s that great of a school, but that’s OK, I’m getting the degree for the brand and to make my Jewish family get off my case for not having a real job yet. I’m in the thesis writing stage, which means I spend most of my days in what I like to call my “soft pants” with or without a bra, watching Game of Thrones. Should you date me, you should appreciate the value of a good soft pant.
I’m also a bartender, which is honestly the most fun/frustrating job I’ve ever had. If you ever date me, you can probably expect some free drinks to be tossed your way. You will also deal with me coming home at 4am drunk and potentially angry at how shitty people can be. My sleep schedule will not match to any person with a “real job”, so sexytimes will be at irregular hours.
The first thing people notice about me
I am a ginger. I have a lot of curly red hair, very pale skin and many freckles.
I have large breasts/ thighs/ eyes/ lips/ feet. My hands, however, are freakishly tiny.
I have a tendency to use sarcasm as a way sussing out if I want to continue talking to a person.
I am terrible at small talk.
I like lying to strangers.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Heartbreak, Starbucks soy lattes, eating, which friend I should text to hang out. I don’t really think about boys that much. Even when I’m in a relationship, I don’t think about my boyfriend that much. He’s just…there. I don’t give love easily, but I’ll take it.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
The boys I love don’t love me. And the ones that love me, I let them because I don’t have a best friend. Really, my best friend from my childhood is amazing, but we’ve developed different interests, my best friend from high school lives far away, my best friends from college live far away, my friends from grad school are alright, but not best friend material. I would like a new best friend, and a boyfriend is a good enough place to start.
I also like science fiction, vegan food and I have two cats. If you ever want to date me, you should accept that there will be cat hair on everything you own.
You should message me if
You want to have a drink and banal conversation soon! xo